you can go on your way.

{you have been warned: a heedy-intensive post of words & pictures.}

one of the proudest things i’ll accomplish in my life is to fill up a journal, from front cover to back cover. i probably have a little over half a dozen journals from the past 8 years full of words & life & doodles & dreams. my current little beauty is a fave because of the unlined, thick, ivory pages with a wide elastic band to keep all of the treasures contained. 3 months in & we’re about halfway done.

if you were to glimpse at my journal aptly named “joy” – you would see snippets of my days. things that make me laugh. things that make me ponder. like the child that asked me why i was 39 & single. {p.s. don’t worry – i made sure he knew i was deeply offended by the age, not the marital status!} or the sweet little boy that tells me a joke every morning but chose this time to tell me he loved me over hand puppets.

you would find quotes that are written boldly, hoping that it’ll stick not just to the pages but to a piece of my mind. i find the beauty of faithfulness. the hurt from brokenness. the redemption that comes from new days, new mercies. insecurities that i choose to not let control how i live by being exposed to the light.

you would see plans for the future. things i want to try. travels i want to set in stone. ironing out what success will look like among my students. the moments that make my life in tulsa feel real, significant, meaningful. the prayers that i hope will be answered but trust they are heard.

i’ll be excited for the day where i look back through the journals & see what my life has become.

– – –

things i have been blessed to be learning:

i crave healthy.

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collecting life.

i find one of the best ways to describe me is to call me a collector. i like to collect life along the way, whether it’s words or photographs or people or wisdom or some other kind of gem that makes my small, insignificant life meaningful. i would hate to pass through my brief lifetime for it to be one that bears no mark or purpose. and how else would i have something to show for it if it wasn’t for the memories {as tiny as they may be} that build up seasons that me who i am. the past. the present. the future. the good. the bad. the ugly.

my journal is about a third of a way full after 3 months or so of writing. collecting writings. quotes. little things. encouragement. tears. doodles. dreams. i would say that would be a marked change in the past couple of years of life when i had forgotten to write. process. think. soak in. do something. now, my journal is with me. it’s sprinkled with thoughts from a day that has made me smile. laugh. frustrated. hopeful. pensive. critical. broken. challenged. grateful. redeemed. affirmed. joyful.

– – –

sometimes i forget that there is something that i needed from that very day, that very moment.

sometimes i forget that there is beauty in the dust, that life comes out of death.

sometimes i forget that there are far, far better things ahead than any i leave behind.

sometimes i forget that i trade the busyness for some sweet solitude & peace.

sometimes i forget to count my blessings when i want to dwell on the ugly, the negative.

sometimes i forget that it’s better to have an emotion than drift into numbness or complacency.

sometimes i forget that unless i cherish the trials & hardships, i can’t see how good the successes can be.

sometimes i forget to hear for the whispers or seek out the fingerprints of glory & grace.

…i just want to collect these forget-me-not’s and trade them in for solid roots for a well-done, filled to the absolute brim life.

collect moments.

– – –

 

was break really almost a month ago? and is it really just an hour or so until february? if january was that fast, i need to buckle up for 2013. i really am excited to see how this year will unfold. cannot. wait.

an update on the tulsa/oklahoma + general resolutions: signed up for the color run in april. hello, 5k. found a possible grad school program that sounds absolutely fab for me. i have a potential coffee shop that i have obsessively visited the past few weeks – more updates on this being IT. i have been consistently writing letters & going on friend-dates & just communicating with my non-tulsa friends in general. {p.s. it’s doing wonders for my heart – i just feel healthier & refreshed than before – praising, y’all!} everything else on the list? still in progress.

y’all. be on the lookout for a wealth of pictures that i’ve been hoarding for this month. the teacher life. weekend adventures in tulsa. columbia/kansas city. cold, winter nights. the cutest canine ever. good eats. the bestest of friends. birthdays. good eats. …truly living a charmed life. bless it.

thankful thursday.

i picked up the book “a thousand gifts” by ann voskamp a few weeks ago. i’ve heard about it for years, even flipped through a couple of chapters at a long session at barnes & noble. i read her blog & her tweets for a glimpse of a simple yet meaningful life. bowed down by a sense, an embrace of gratitude for all the big & little gifts throughout a day.

i love this:

gratitude.

i want to delight in each & every day. and i would love to share it; so, hello, thankful thursday. here a few of the many things i have been very grateful for this week:

  1. the amount of friend-dates i have had this week & will continue to have in the upcoming days.
  2. a sweet conversation with a family – especially when they tell me G talks about me all the time at home.
  3. the sense of family in each of my groups: the jokes, the laughter, the nicknames, the fun.
  4. professional development sessions that encourage me to let me be me & meld it with growth/greatness.
  5. technology allowing me to chat with a dear TFA/CMA group member all the way in miami.
  6. this video bringing me to the verge of tears. love bentonville, the teacher life, & the fun.
  7. fleece jackets, rain boots, & fluffy slippers keeping me warm, dry, & cozy the past few days.
  8. a little one telling me in class that he likes to multiply decimals now. YES! YES! YES!
  9. my phillip phillips pandora station keeping me company while i work.
  10. resolutions that get me giddy over possibility this year {update: none finished yet}.

…daily delights. sweet joys. full heart. clear eyes. amen.